Do I Need a Postpartum Doula If My Family Is Coming to Help?
/You're having your first baby, and you've been hearing about how postpartum doulas are all the rage. A little bit of online research leads you to a whole lot of information about non-judgemental support, breastfeeding support, and help with newborn care. You have seen that doulas even help with meal preparation and light housekeeping. Sounds like a dream but you're lucky enough to have family nearby or to come to help, so why do you need a postpartum doula?
A postpartum doula is an expert on postpartum recovery.
We know your family has children, too. They've raised some pretty amazing people (you included), and they know what babies need. The difference between a family member or friend with experience and a postpartum doula is the level of expertise. As postpartum doulas, we make a point to stay up to date on infant care recommendations, postpartum recovery practices and we know about the different variations that you may experience. Family and friends usually draw from their personal experience or the experiences of the few others they've cared for.
Doulas support your whole family. Often, grandparents will ask questions about the current recommendations for breastfeeding or newborn care and a doula has the answers. If you want to most current information and someone who is prepared to assist you in the way you want to care for your baby, a postpartum doula is right for you.
A postpartum doula is not emotionally invested in your decisions.
Your family loves you and wants what is best for you and your baby. Unfortunately, sometimes your family's idea of what is best for you is not the same as yours. This can create tension in the relationship and self-doubt. We know that the opinions of family and friends come from a place of love but that doesn't make it any easier to handle when you're determined to do something one way, and your parents think their way is the only way that works.
For new parents that want to care for their baby and themselves they way they have decided and want to be fully supported in their choices and assisted with them, a postpartum doula is an optimal choice for support.
Postpartum doulas don’t mind staying up all night.
When you're at your wit's end, it can be hard to ask someone to stay up through the night to help with you. While some family members may be more willing to help with your baby overnight than others most people do not want to do night feedings and changes for an ongoing length of time. This is where a postpartum doula can be invaluable. Having a postpartum doula for overnight care can be especially useful during the first few days at home with your new baby or during transitional times, such as when you return to work.
Whether you want someone to assist with breastfeeding through the night and resettling your baby or you want to be able to get an undisturbed stretch of sleep at night without feeling guilty that someone else is not getting any sleep, you want a postpartum doula.
Even your family needs a break.
Babies are demanding! There's an old axiom that a great adult to newborn ratio in a house is at least 3:1 at all times. While you can certainly do it on your own, things tend to go smoothly when one person is feeding or taking care of the baby, one person sleeping or resting, and one person is making sure there are groceries in the house, the laundry is done and the adults are well-fed. If you have older children or are expecting multiples it is difficult to have too many trustworthy pairs of hands to count on in the first few weeks. If your family needs to get out of the house, get some fresh air or catch up on sleep a postpartum doula can help.
Postpartum doula support really does come without judgment.
Judgment isn't always obvious. Sometimes it comes disguised in subtle comments like, "If only you had done ____________ when you gave birth." Or "When you were a baby, I just ___________ and then you slept through the night." Our postpartum doulas meet you right where you are each day (or night). We are fresh faced and ready to cheer you on. We have the training to prepare us for a variety or scenarios and to guide us with how to assist new parents in a genuinely supportive manner.
Your family and friends are an important part of your parenthood journey. Their care and love can never be replaced by the professional support of a doula, but it's a different kind of support. Professional support means you will receive what you need to feel confident and prepared without any added advice or opinions.
