Nursing... It Doesn't Always Come Naturally.
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Why does it seem to be so dang hard to successfully get a nipple in a human baby's mouth and have them eat without pain and strife? Why is breastfeeding (or chestfeeding) so hard? Is there something we're doing wrong?
I was interested though when npr.org, recently published an article called "Secrets Of Breast-Feeding From Global Moms In The Know".
It seems that in humans, breastfeeding is not just instinctual. It is learned.
This article includes reports from researchers who interviewed Himba women in Namibia about their breastfeeding journeys. Despite strong cultures of breastfeeding and little separation of families a full "two-thirds of the women said they had some problems at the beginning, such as pain, fear, troubles getting the baby to latch and concerns about the milk supply — just like American moms."
So, certainly breastfeeding is "natural" in the sense that breastmilk comes from bodies rather than a can, but that doesn't mean nursing comes naturally! I can't speak for other mammals and if struggles are normal for them, but it seems that in humans there are some breastfeeding challenges that are a common part of the learning curve.
This aligns with my experience as an experienced postpartum doula. I have worked with dozens of families and every single nursing parent I have ever worked with has had questions, no matter if their parents breastfed or not, or how their birth went. From sore nipples, to lazy latches, to the ever present question "is the baby getting enough?". That includes second and third-time parents! Challenges and anxieties are to be expected and given time, space and grace, many of them can be overcome.
So, solidarity to all the new parents worldwide who at this very moment are trying to poke their nipple into their sweet sleepy baby's tight-shut mouth. You are not alone!
If breastfeeding is learned, rather than an instinct, what will set you up for learning best? Here are my top 4 suggestions for learning to breastfeed:
1. Take a breastfeeding class while you're pregnant.
Knowing what to expect can make a big difference. A good class should help you know how often your baby should eat, how to tell if your baby is getting enough, and how to tackle common minor challenges. Trust me, even though it won't feel real until you're holding an actual newborn, it is easier to take in information when you're not sleep deprived!
2. Get to know a breastfeeding expert, and talk to them early.
I recommend that every pregnant person who desires to breastfeed/chestfeed get a consult with a lactation professional before their baby arrives. Aetna and Blue Cross Insurance typically cover the full cost and we in Philadelphia are lucky to have many fantastic IBCLCs and CLCs available!
During a consultation, you'll be able to talk through any questions or anticipated challenges about nursing that are specific to you.
People with a history of breast surgery, thyroid disease, diabetes, inverted nipples, chronic fatigue or another condition that could impact milk supply will especially benefit from talking through their options and making a breastfeeding plan. If you are expecting multiples, or a premie baby a consult is essential.
During your meeting you can also talk through questions or concerns like returning to work, or figuring out if you need to talk to your doctor about adjusting any medication that might transfer into your milk.
It also just helps to get to know a lactation counselor or center so that if questions pop up for you later you have a familiar, friendly resource to call on for advice and support. They can help you figure out if that painful latch is a normal part of the learning curve that just will take some time and practice to work through, or if it is a sign of something that might need more treatment, like a tounge tie.
3. Set Just 3 Goals.
New parents, especially in the US, tend to put big expectations on themselves. In the first weeks with a new baby try to simplify your goals. I suggest these three, which are applicable to parents who are exclusively breastfeeding/chestfeeding, pumping, formula feeding, or some combination:
- Fall in love with your baby.
- Learn to feed the baby.
- Focus on rest and treat your mind and body as kindly as possible.
If at all possible, get other people to do everything else. Hire a housecleaner. Stock the freezer with healthy meals. Have someone take care of your older kids for a couple hours a day. As you work towards these goals you will have to overcome obstacles. Some days will be hard, the next days may be easier. It isn't selfish to focus on yourself and your baby for a while-- it is necessary to give yourself the space to learn.
4. Gather Your Loving Community
One key difference between American families and the Himba families from the article is that American families are unlikely to have 24/7 support from experienced caretakers and mentors to help them through their learning journey.
Like learning something else hard, it helps to have supportive coaches who encourage you to keep trying, to tell you how great you are doing, and to hold you even if things don't go perfectly. Who are you going to have on speed dial when you’re thinking “Why is this so hard”. Do you have someone to talk to if you’re frustrated or worried?
A professional postpartum doula can be an important part of a team, especially if you don't have many friends or family members who have expertise in breastfeeding! In those first days home we help families adjust their technique and feel more confident about feeding their babies.
If you want recommendations for breastfeeding support groups, breastfeeding-friendly pediatricians, or awesome lactation consultants in your area, shoot us a message. Even if you aren't working with us, we want to give you the resources you need to succeed.
So remember, when you're getting started with breastfeeding please be easy on yourself. Give you and your baby time and space to learn and surround yourself with confident, knowledgeable support. <3
